7 signs your child or teen could benefit from therapy.

Most parents I see in my Lee's Summit office tell me some version of the same thing: "I should have brought them in months ago."

It's almost never because they didn't notice something was off. It's because the signs were ambiguous, life was busy, and they kept hoping it was a phase. Sometimes it is a phase. But sometimes it isn't, and waiting another six months means six months of a kid suffering quietly while a parent hopes it'll pass.

Here are seven specific signs I tell parents to take seriously. None of these alone necessarily mean your child needs therapy. But if you're seeing two or more of them — especially if they've been going on for more than a few weeks — it's worth a conversation.

1. Their mood has changed and stayed changed

Kids and teens have moods. They're allowed to be cranky, sad, irritable, or withdrawn for a few days. What you're watching for is a persistent shift — your normally cheerful 10-year-old has been flat or sad for a month, or your usually engaged teen has gone quiet and isolated for weeks.

The duration is what matters. A bad week is normal. A bad two months is a signal.

2. School is suddenly hard in a way it wasn't before

I'm not talking about a tough math unit. I'm talking about:

• Grades dropping noticeably across multiple subjects
• Teachers reaching out unprompted
• Resistance to going to school that didn't used to be there
• Tearfulness or stomachaches on school mornings that aren't medical
• Unfinished homework piling up in a previously organized kid

School is often where mental health issues show up first because school is a high-demand environment. When a kid's emotional regulation or focus starts slipping, school is where you'll see it.

3. Sleep or appetite changes that can't be explained

Healthy kids generally sleep and eat in fairly predictable patterns. When those shift dramatically — sleeping way more or way less, eating way more or way less, complaining about not being able to fall asleep — and there's no medical explanation, that's worth attention.

Sleep and appetite are some of the most reliable physical markers of anxiety and depression in children and teens. They're not always conscious. The kid often can't tell you they're anxious — but their sleep can.

4. Worry that has become a daily presence

Anxiety in children often hides in plain sight. Look for:

• Frequent stomachaches or headaches without medical cause
• Excessive reassurance-seeking ("Are you sure? Promise? Are you still going to be there?")
• Avoidance of things they used to enjoy — birthday parties, sports, sleepovers
• Catastrophic thinking about ordinary things ("What if Mom doesn't come back?")
• Difficulty separating that's regressed past a developmentally normal age

A little worry is part of growing up. Daily worry that's interfering with normal life is something therapy can help with — often quickly, with the right tools.

5. They've stopped doing things they used to love

One of the most reliable signs of depression in kids and teens isn't sadness — it's loss of interest. The kid who lived for soccer doesn't want to go anymore. The teen who was always making art has stopped. The friend group has thinned out and your child doesn't seem to mind.

Loss of pleasure in formerly meaningful activities (clinically called anhedonia) is one of the most common markers of depression. It can be subtle — they're not sobbing, just flat. They're not refusing, just shrugging. Pay attention to those shrugs.

6. Behavior or anger that doesn't match the situation

Kids — especially younger ones — often act out what they can't articulate. Watch for:

• Explosive anger over minor things
• New defiance, especially in a previously cooperative child
• Aggression toward siblings, pets, or themselves
• Risk-taking that's out of character (especially in teens)
• Lying that goes beyond developmental fibbing

Behavior is communication. A child who is suddenly unrecognizable behaviorally is usually carrying something they can't name yet. Therapy gives them a place to figure out what that is.

7. They've experienced a significant life event

Kids don't process big events the way adults do. A divorce, a death in the family, a move, a parent's serious illness, bullying, or a difficult medical procedure can all leave a residue that comes out months — or years — later.

You don't always need to wait for "symptoms" before getting a child support after something hard. Sometimes the most helpful thing is preemptive — a few sessions to give them a place to process before things compound.

What about "is it just a phase?"

Even if it is just a phase, therapy doesn't hurt. And if it's not just a phase, you'll be glad you didn't wait six more months to find out.

The downside risk of getting a kid into therapy when they're "fine" is essentially zero. They learn some emotional tools, they have an extra trusted adult, the family gets stronger. The downside risk of waiting too long is significant — distress that compounds, school years that don't repeat, relational patterns that calcify.

If you're wondering, that's usually enough information. Wondering is the signal.

What therapy with kids actually looks like

Parents often ask me what to expect. A few things to know:

• It doesn't all happen on a couch. With younger kids, much of the work happens through play, art, and structured activities. With teens, it's more conversational.
• Parents are part of the work. I meet with parents regularly to share what I'm seeing (within developmentally appropriate confidentiality), give you tools to use at home, and adjust the plan as we go.
• It often goes faster than you'd expect. A lot of childhood and adolescent issues respond well and quickly to evidence-based work — sometimes in 8-12 sessions, not years.

If you're in Lee's Summit, Kansas City, or anywhere in Missouri

I work with children, preteens, and teenagers as a primary part of my practice. I'm trained in evidence-based approaches for ADHD, anxiety, depression, oppositional behavior, and trauma — and I'm an honest fit-checker. If we're not the right match for your child, I'll tell you and help you find someone who is.

You can read more about my child and adolescent therapy services, or skip ahead and book a free 15-minute consultation. The hardest part is usually starting.

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This article is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional consultation, diagnosis, or treatment. If your child is experiencing thoughts of self-harm or suicide, call or text 988, call 911, or go to your nearest emergency room.